Let Go of What You Can’t Control

 

Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

 

We're nearing the end of our 12 Months to Self-Care series, but these steps are no less necessary. Before we jump into this month's step, I want you to take a moment and think about everything you are trying to control in your life. Are you trying to control things like other people's actions and emotions? Does it feel exhausting? Not only is trying to control everything draining, but it's also impossible.

This month, I encourage you to let go of the things you can't control.

I know letting go is easier said than done. When I think about the art of letting go of the things I can't control, I find myself remembering the "Serenity Prayer."

"Divine, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

While saying this prayer does not automatically help you feel calm and content, the words of this prayer are the first step to letting go. Accept the parts of your life that are difficult and accept that they may be out of your control. The feeling of not being in control can be scary. However, when you stop trying to control everything and instead focus on what you can control, you find that sense of calmness and comfort.

As you start your journey of letting go, it can be challenging to discern between what is and isn't under your control. One of my favorite self-help books, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, really helped me in my own healing journey. My need for control was wrapped up in my perfectionism. Reading this book empowered me to change the way I reacted to others. It was a huge step forward, and I always recommend this book to all my clients.

One of the four agreements is not to take things personally. Ruiz provides examples of how we take things personally, even when they are not meant for us. I saw myself in so many of those examples. Reading this book made me realize that my perfectionism and need for control weren't serving me. They were actually detrimental to my life.

With time and patience, I learned how to stop making assumptions and not take it personally when others were upset. I now know it isn't my job to make things right or take responsibility for others' emotions.

Recognizing my need for control and accepting what I am and am not responsible for is one of the healthiest realizations I've ever had. It showed me how to be content in life. When someone is upset, I no longer think, "What did I do to upset them," or try to placate them. I now recognize that their behaviors and emotions are theirs.

It's not my job to try and fix it.

So, what are the steps you can take to let go? The following list created by Mental Health America is a great reference:

  1. Show gratitude and accept the truth

  2. Focus on what you can control

  3. Live in the moment

  4. Become more minimal

  5. Focus on your priorities

  6. Don't dwell on the past

  7. Don't worry about tomorrow

  8. Keep your body relaxed

  9. Use coping statements

  10. Remember that it takes practice

These recommendations are present throughout the curriculum provided here at Energy Medicine Specialists. When you attend our classes, you'll learn how to implement these practices and transform your life.

It's my hope that this blog will act as your guide as you learn to let go of the things you can't control and change what you can. There are things you can't control, and that's okay. I encourage you to let them go and focus on bringing calmness and contentment into your life.

 

Cindy Parsons,

RN, BSN, MS-HCA, SEM

With warmth and healing energy,

Cindy Parsons and the EMS Team

Holistic Nurse
Energy Medicine Practitioner
Instructor—Energy Medicine Specialists
(Read more about Cindy here).

 
EMS Admin