Release Yourself from People-Pleasing Patterns
In a world that often glorifies selflessness and prioritizing others' needs above our own, the concept of being a people pleaser might sound like a good virtue to have. However, the truth is that this complex dynamic can lead to self-neglect and resentment, the complete opposite of self-care.
That’s why this month’s theme is: Don’t Be a People Pleaser
There can be a lot of pressure and unfair expectations around the concept of people-pleasing and selflessness. Take Taylor Swift as an example. I am by no means a “swiftie” or very familiar with her work, but a recent flood of information has led me to view Taylor as somewhat of a role model. Particularly in one aspect: her ability to navigate public scrutiny while maintaining her own boundaries. Despite the opinions swirling around her, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have shown an admirable disregard for the noise, choosing instead to focus on what aligns with their own beliefs and values.
Swift's music often touches on the challenges of human relationships as well, including the pitfalls of being a pathological people-pleaser. Her song "You're Losing Me" captures the toll that unchecked people-pleasing can have on a person.
The desire to accommodate others’ needs might keep the peace, but it means we are routinely overshadowing our own.
So, on the outside, you’ll appear kind and attentive toward others, but beneath the surface, your behavioral patterns are eroding your self-esteem and crushing your confidence. This destructive cycle of self-sacrifice and neglect can lead to passive-aggressive communication and buried resentment.
So how can you break free from people pleasing’s grip?
Start with reclaiming your autonomy by setting boundaries.
Here are some practical steps you can take to help you prioritize your needs and develop your emotional intelligence.
Establish your priorities: Reflect on your values, and prioritize your own needs when faced with requests that undermine them.
Don't apologize for saying no: Assert your boundaries without feeling the need to justify or apologize for them. Saying "no" without hesitation or guilt is empowering. Remember, “no” is a complete sentence.
Work on your inner self: Explore the root causes of your people-pleasing tendencies and focus on self-healing and self-acceptance.
Identify toxic traits: Recognize relationships or situations where your boundaries are not respected and take steps to address them.
Set boundaries: Make sure to be clear when communicating your limits and surround yourself with people who respect them.
Consider the source: Evaluate the nature of requests and the quality of your relationships before committing to them.
Practice saying "no": Get comfortable with asserting your boundaries without over-explaining or justifying your decisions.
Allow yourself time: Take a pause before responding to requests. Give yourself time to evaluate and prioritize your needs.
Schedule self-care: Block out time in your schedule for self-care activities and prioritize your own well-being.
I understand breaking free from people-pleasing can be a challenging journey. But by prioritizing our own needs and setting clear boundaries, we are investing in a healthier relationship with ourselves.
March Networking Call:
The Hara: The Dimension Of Soul, The Architecture Of Well-Being
Join us on Monday, March 18th at 5 pm PT / 6 pm MT / 7 pm CT / 8 pm ET for the EMS Networking call as Amelia Volger introduces the Hara as the energy dimension of the Soul and demystifies the two tasks of the Hara - the work of becoming (aka incarnating) and being (aka living and evolving). Register in advance for this meeting.
This event was originally scheduled for February but had to be rescheduled. We're excited to now offer it to you in March!
In this call, you will connect to your own soul essence through:
The story of how you got from star to body. (Learn how all of the major energy dimensions are fed by the Hara.)
Explore why the Hara provides lasting, permanent healing.
Discover an overview of how attachment patterning appears in the Hara. (Attachment styles are foundational templates that define our capacities for relationships.)
Be guided in a Hara grounding meditation for your own healing.
This talk is dedicated to the life and Spirit of Janna Moll.
Please know we are here at Energy Medicine Specialists to energetically support you in developing your practice and personal well-being as a healer.
Cindy Parsons,
RN, BSN, MS-HCA, SEM
To your journey,
Cindy Parsons, RN, BSN, MS-HCA, SEM
Holistic Nurse
Energy Medicine Practitioner
Instructor—Energy Medicine Specialists
(Read more about Cindy here).